It’s not the new year without a list of ranked things, right? This is my definitive ranking of the 27 Hallmark Channel movies I reviewed in 2023. For good measure also I’ve included the 6 non-Hallmark movies in a separate list. For detailed reviews of all of these movies, go here.
The Holly Hallmark Best (movies 1-3)
There were clearly three movies that shone brightly above the rest. These three could not be more different. Time travel, bar crawl and Hanukkah.
The best Hallmark movie of 2023 - A Biltmore Christmas.
1. A Biltmore Christmas – 9 Stars
I’m a sucker for a time travel movie, so when you add the Biltmore Estate in North Carolina at Christmas and Bethany Joy Lenz, plus Kristoffer Polaha, you’ve got my expectations rather high. It’s safe to say my expectations were met and bested. This movie was excellent and deserves the top spot this year.
2. The Santa Summit - 9 Stars
A bar crawl has never been so charming and funny. Sure, it starts at around noon and they basically teleport to a mountain, which is definitely not near any of the bars, but the three different love stories are unique and very enjoyable. This is a fun romp that should show up on repeat a lot in the future. Highly recommended.
3. Round and Round – 8 Stars
Time Loop, Hanukkah. Big Laughs. Good characters. Despite the science fiction of this movie, it’s the movie most not-like a Hallmark movie. Meaning it could survive on another channel and that’s wild. Great movie.
Santa’s Second Tier (4-11)
4. Holiday Hotline - 8 Stars
“Holiday Hotline. Let’s talk turkey.” This line became so familiar that my first grader continued to repeat it at randomly for days. A sorta British lady staffs the hotline you call when your turkey gets all screwed up over the holidays. A guy calls and falls in love with her. But wait she’s American . . . No! She’s British. Who’s to say? It’s a whole thing. Phone calls never looked better than this movie, which I will watch again.
5. Mystic Christmas - 8 stars
Yeah, I loved it. The seals were great and the leads were super funny. Actually filmed in Mystic, Connecticut. Sad they went to a pizza place, but it wasn’t “that” pizza place. Missed opportunity.
6. Haul out the Holly: Lit Up - 8 Stars
When the evil Jolly Johnson’s move into Evergreen Lane the gang from Haul out the Holly (2022, 6 stars) plot their revenge and take the culdesac back!
7. Holiday Road – 7 Stars
This road trip with incredibly good weather is quite emotional.
8. The Secret Gift of Christmas - 7 Stars
The secret? Meghan Ory. Otherwise this one is bonkers.
9. Checkin’ It Twice - 7 Stars
Idaho Falls is a real place, but it’s a lot more magical in this hockey movie with two strong lead characters and plenty of ice.
10. A Heidelberg Holiday - 7 Stars
German Christmas markets don’t exactly work like this, but the movie is sweet, yet wildly illogical.
11. A Merry Scottish Christmas – 7 Stars
Wow, Scotland in the winter looks beautiful. So green and warm.
The Merry Middle (movies 12-18)
12. Joyeux Noel - 6 stars
The stakes couldn’t be lower for this copyeditor dreaming of a love story; then finds it and nobody actually cares. Filmed in “France.” Kinda.
13. Christmas in Notting Hill - 6 Stars
Football, the UK version meets Christmas.
14. A Not So Royal Christmas – 6 Stars
Is a count really a count when you need to count on him? Nobody knows.
15. Christmas Island - 6 Stars
Rich people learn to love Christmas thanks to their pilot.
16. Flipping for Christmas - 6 stars
Is it a B&B? Is it for sale? Let’s paint a few walls and add some Christmas trees and find out. Also, this isn’t how gentrification actually works.
17. Christmas by Design - 6 Stars
A movie where a fashion designer fails to learn that if you spill something on your clothes, you might want to try washing them before throwing them out. That’s not even a spoiler.
18. Sealed with a List – 6 Stars
New year’s resolutions and backstabbing co-workers.
Mistletoe Misfires (movies 19-23)
19. Never Been Chris’d - 6 Stars
Just pick a love story and stick to it, wouldya?
20. Catch Me If You Claus - 5 Stars
There was something about this movie that didn’t work. Like most of it.
21. Navigating Christmas - 5 Stars
If you thought this movie was actually Christmas Island (see above), you’d be wrong. Creative title? No.
22. Where Are You, Christmas? - 5 Stars
It’s like Pleasantville, but without the heart and logic. There are people in the world who loved this movie. I really didn’t.
23. Christmas on Cherry Lane - 5 Stars
Three stories. Three opportunities to fall asleep.
Coal in your Stockings Worst (movies 24-27)
24. Magic in Mistletoe - 4 Stars
There was no magic to be had.
25. Under the Christmas Sky - 4 stars, DNF
Boring space people get trapped on earth. Madness and Christmas ensues.
26. Letters to Santa – 4 Stars
The pen wasn’t magical at all. And Grandma just stole the letters. Boo!
27. Everything Christmas - 4 Stars
I love a magical santa, but this santa is creepy like David Blaine. This movie was wrong and weird on every level.
Hallmark Movies Not Watched (thus, unranked)
Christmas with a Kiss, My Norwegian Holiday, Friends & Family Christmas, Our Christmas Mural
Not Hallmark Movies
1. Candy Cane Lane (Amazon Prime) – 8 Stars
Eddie Murphy and the 12 Day of Christmas really work.
2. The Naughty Nine (Disney+) – 7 Stars
What would happen if the guys from Oceans Eleven were actually 11 years old, and on the naughty list?
3. Dashing Through the Snow (Disney+) - 6 stars
This is basically the identical plot to Catch Me If You Claus on Hallmark, which is like when Hollywood made Armageddon and Deep Impact and released them the same summer, like nobody would notice.
4. EXmas (Freevee) - 5 Stars
I really wanted to like this one because Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl fame and Robbie Amell of Upload are awesome. But it just splatted like a sad snowball, especially when someone has to give CPR to a major character and things suddenly get really serious. Nope, not for a comedy, people.
5. Meet Me Under the Mistletoe (GAM) – 3 Stars
Real estate is only good at Christmas when I bad guy is trying to steal your tree farm. This movie missed that one.
6. Best. Christmas. Ever! (Netflix) - 2 stars
It's ironic that a movie with this title would get my lowest score ever! for a Christmas movie but that's exactly what this terrible, terrible movie deserves. This is the worst movie I’ve seen, honestly, that I can remember.
Also watched, but not ranked
These movies are either yearly watches, or movies released before 2023: Five Star Christmas (Hallmark), Christmas with Felicity (Roku), Elf, White Christmas, The Grinch, Christmas with the Kranks and Christmas Vacation.