Movie Review: Operation Nutcracker

Four stars: Not good. Sad face.

When a movie has the word “operation” in the title, it’s usually a sure bet that it will have some sort of detailed, military-style plan at the center of its plot. Not this movie. The operation is “let’s go look for a guy named Dave and keep missing him, because he has our nutcracker.”

In order for a charity ball to make enough money to build a new hospital wing, the nice rich folks are auctioning off an antique nutcracker. Yes, whatever someone will bid on this nutcracker will build an entire hospital in Boston. It’s so fancy in fact that it’s brought to Boston in a plain-Jane carry-on bag on a commercial flight. Oh, yeah, and it’s just wrapped in a towel—not locked case for protection. Oh, and our dopey leading man allows the bag to be checked and loses it. Yeah, this movie plot is not great.

A few things to watch for if you want to give it a go.

• The fake beard on our leading man in the first act of the movie

• The random men (I counted three) who are dancing/swaying alone in the final dance scene

• On the nose mentions of meet-cute and rom-coms

• Why is Ashley Newbrough always single? She seems so nice.

Cast Kudos: Nobody really stands out, but it’s interesting that Patrice Goodman and Darryl Hinds (Dave) both were secondary players in ‘Twas the Date Before Christmas. Which aired on Hallmark the weekend before this nutty movie.

Alternative Titles: What happens when you don’t use luggage tags; Hospital wings don’t cost a thing; Where’s Dave?; How to lose a Nutcracker in 7 days.

Aired: Oct. 25 on Hallmark. Watched Oct. 24.

Movie Review: Scouting for Christmas

Six Stars: Solid. Could be better.

Full disclosure—I was going to skip this one, but I’m glad I didn’t. Scouting for Christmas was a charming non-traditional family story. It didn’t break new ground but was perfectly enjoyable.

Ten-year-old Brooklyn (Audrey Wise Alvarez) is a Sunny Scout and loves baked goods and the guy who bakes them, Sir Bakes-A-Bunch, William (Carlo Marks). Brooklyn’s single mom Angela (Tamera Mowry-Housley), is a busy real estate agent who doesn’t like asking for help. She shows up late to things, which is apparently her worst quality as a human. Other than that, she’s pretty great.

Brooklyn and Angela enlist Sir Bakes-A-Bunch to audition to be the caterer/goodie table guy for the Sunny Scout holiday ball. The relationship building centers around that story line.

We also meet Dakota (James Paladino) who is Brooklyn’s dad, but I’m convinced he is 75% Philadelphia Phillies slugger Bryce Harper. Look him up, you’ll see it too.

The meanie is Den Mom Elizabeth (Jaycie Dotin). She is easy to root against in all things. She’s judgy and snooty to a “working” mom who can’t possibly be a good mom, work and show up to things on time.

This is set in Washington state. They keep showing images of snowy Seattle. That’s not really a thing. We have other cities here, too. Maybe visit Leavenworth if you need a snowy Washington town. Also, nobody here has ever said “tri-state area,” if anything they would say, “the Northwest” which covers Oregon, Washington and Idaho. Also, we drink coffee (home of Starbucks), not tea.

Funniest line: When Brooklyn is asked what she wants for Christmas, she replies that she wants her dad to come home and her mom to be fun. Brooklyn’s friend replies, “Whoa. That’s deep. I want an electric scooter.”

Cast Kudos: Brooklyn (Audrey Wise Alvarez). She’s a very good child actor who is really the driving force of the whole movie.

Alternative Titles: Those who bake a lot, love a lot; Sunny Scout Ball;  A baker for Christmas; Christmas Matchmaker Meritt Badge

Originally aired on Hallmark Channel: Oct. 20. Watched: Oct. 26

Movie Review: Holiday Crashers is one janky movie

Five stars: Nope. Background noise only

Two women who work at an “invitation store” (apparently that’s a thing) decide to steal leftover invitations and crash extremely elaborate holiday parties a few times because they think their lives are going nowhere. The party crashing isn’t even a main theme in the film. It just happens to be a thing they do. I am not recommending this movie, therefore this review contains spoilers.

Lyndsy Fonseca plays Toni, a law school grad, who had a panic attack when taking the Bar Exam and did not become a lawyer (yet). She lives with her invitation store co-worker and bestie Bri, played to perfection by Daniella Monet. Bri likes to organize and give advice–I guess that’s her talent.. 

Toni meets up with Justin (Chris McNally), who is the CEO of an investment company which apparently only has just one lawyer, one office and five or so actual employees.  Toni and Justin, despite being model worthy folks, have absolutely no chemistry. Why do they like each other? What thing in Toni makes Justin a better man? What thing that Justin has, makes Toni change her ways. No growth. No good. I could go on about this storyline, but I just didn’t buy it. She’s a fake lawyer and it’s the end of the world for a while.

The secondary love story is way better. Bri meets a valet named Vinny (Jag Bal)who actually shows an interest in her and looks like he actually likes her. Our first couple should take note. They do some flirting and the big reveal is that he’s not a valet, he owns the company which may or may not be a big company. They never really say. But for fantasy sake, I’ll say he’s loaded. This couple actually gets married at the end of the movie. They are of Indian decent and Bri’s wedding dress is a chic Indian gown that was really great. I’d like to see this culture explored more in these movies. They do celebrate Christmas in India. Let’s look into that. 

It feels like Hallmark had two OK movies and they decided to blend them together and make one janky movie. Bri and Vinny deserved to be the headline couple of this movie. Justice for Bri and Vinny!! 

This movie was also not a Christmas movie. It takes place in the winter and people go to holiday parties, but it is not at all about Christmas. This movie fails the substitution test that tells us that if the holiday of Christmas featured in the movie could be swapped out for another holiday without material changes in the plot of said movie, then it’s not a Christmas movie. Adding snow, or mountains is not enough. Christmas doesn’t even occur in this movie. Huh? 

There are no children in Holiday Crashers, despite having multiple pregnant women. Christmas joy is best seen through the eyes of children. Pretty single people don’t exude Christmas cheer like a kid.

The lawyer's TV advertisements were very funny. They played Sia’s song “Snowman,” which is one of the best Christmas songs ever made. 

At one point in the film someone says, “Well, she did save us $2 billion.” This is not a normal thing to say, or a reasonable excuse for a lie.

This is the second year that Hallmark put Lyndsy Fonseca in a terrible movie. “Where Are You Christmas? (2023) was dreadful. But she starred in the wonderful “Next Stop, Christmas” (2022), so I’ll keep rooting for her. Come on Hallmark, help a girl out. 

Cast Kudos: Credit to Jag Bal who plays Vinny. I need more Vinny. Genuine fella who you could bring home to the parents. 

Alternative titles: Everyone Got a Sitter and Went to a Party; Fake Lawyer for Winter; I lied about being a lawyer, but I’ll save you $2 billion anyway; No Kids Christmas.

Aired on HallMark Channel: Oct. 19, 2024; watched Oct. 20, 2024